My Merry Band of Mutants

Photos: Ernie and a close up of one of his paws.

I think all of my babies are just beautiful. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And to some beholders some of my cats have looks that only a cat mama could love.

Like their mother (the biological one, not me), Nettie and C.J. have a little bit of every color in catdom mixed in their coats. The correct term for this coloration is "tortoiseshell." The popular term is "those ugly cats." But we don't use the "u" word at The House Where the Black Cat Lives. I believe all little girls, even feline ones, should be told they are beautiful every day.

Like Joseph, C.J. wears her amazing -- and fluffy -- Technicolor dream coat very successfully-- she is a bona fide beauty. A non-cat person once told me her sister Nettie's fur resembled what they imagined dragon puke looks like. That was harsh. For the record, Miss Nettie Louise is the smartest of all my cats. Brains trump beauty any day. And she doesn't take any crap from her prettier brothers. Torties are also known for their tempers.

Like their mama (again the biological one) C.J. and her brother Koko, sport abbreviated little tails, the results of a genetic mutation caused by inbreeding. Insert bad joke about the South here. They may not have much, but they're proud of what they've got. While his brothers, Henry and Sammy walk around flourishing their long, luxuriant appendages, Koko wags his like a dog. I call him my puppy cat. C.J., on the other hand, has the merest suggestion of a fluffy pouf on her rump. That, her shy nature and loping run have earned her the nickname "Bunny Cat."

Then there's Ernie and his many, many toes. He's what's known as a polydactyl. But most people refer to felines with this condition as Hemingway cats after the writer (and Ernie's namesake) who was very fond of them. Those extra toes -- yeah, another one of those genetic mutations associated with inbreeding.

Now, Ernie is no average mutant, but a super-mutating overachiever: He has extra toes on both his front AND back paws, a rarity even in the polydactyl world. The poor little thing walks way pigeon-toed. I'm just glad he's got extra toes instead of extra heads. But then again he'd probably be worth a lot more that way. I love him, but he's pretty worthless as he is.

He also has a ground-dragging belly of the type usually seen only in the beer aisle of your neighborhood Wal-Mart. It swings from side to side when he runs. I don't think there is a recessive gene associated with that. What can I say? My boy likes his kibble.

Ironically, Ernie is not biologically related to my other mutant kitties -- at least as far as I know but who can really be sure about stray cats? I'd say from the looks of things they all come from good Southern stock. Although I think their mama, Celie, may actually have been a Japanese bobtail.

While researching polydactylism, I came across the web site for the Ernest Hemingway home on Key West . There's like 60 cats living there, half of them polydactyls. Weirdly enough (or not considering this is Key West), the home is a popular site for weddings.

Hmmmmmmm. I always thought of cat ladydom as just an eccentric lifestyle choice. Now I'm starting to see some business opportunities in it.

The House Where the Black Cat Lives and Wedding Chapel. I like it.