My Stoner Kitties

Let's get this straight. I don't do drugs. Don't approve of drugs. And if you're a kid reading this right now, I'm telling you "Don't do 'em."

All that said, I have been known to procure a little weed for my kitties. I'm talking cat nip. All totally legal and available at Target.

At the risk of sounding like a bad cat mama, if you want to liven up a dull Friday night, get your cats high on catnip. It's like watching a vintage Cheech and Chong movie. We had a huge cat-nip fest around here for the kitties' birthday last Friday. Catnip toys, catnip spray, catnip treats. They spent the whole night totally blissed out.

Henry is a total stoner. Sprinkle a little on his scratching pad and he lies on it spreadeagled, face down with his big, pink Bill Clinton-esque nose pressed into the cardboard. Unlike Clinton, however, Henry inhales.

Koko and Ernie are also big pot-heads. Koko gets so excited by it, he literally bounces off walls and runs laps around the house. Roxie takes the occasional toke. Sammy, Nettie and C.J., not as much. Apparently, it's a genetic thing. Some cats have the gene, some don't.

Given my cats' stoner tendencies, I've considered going organic and growing my own out in the garden. Then I had this vision of all the neighborhood strays descending on my yard. My neighborhood just won their hard-fought Historic District designation battle. Operating a crack house (kitty or otherwise) in these environs probably would break several of our neighborhood association's rules. Not that I would be the first to do so.

Maybe I can just grow it on my windowsill next to the parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme.